I’ve decided that two of the hardest lessons we, as women, will ever have to learn is:
1) How to guard your heart
2) How to love who God made you to be.
Both lessons I’m not super great at learning. How do you find the balance between putting yourself out there and allowing yourself to love and be loved, to be vulnerable, and not giving too much of yourself? God calls us to guard our hearts, but dang it if it isn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Luckily, I don’t have to do it alone. ”And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 4:7
That verse gives me comfort, because frankly, I really don’t have the faintest idea how to guard my heart.
Learning to love the woman God made me to be…well that’s also quite the challenge. I’ve been really struggling with this lately. A few weeks ago I found out that two of my girl friends have been talking negatively about me behind my back. To say that stung is an understatement. After that I started to get very insecure in my friendships and starting to second guess my character. Since then I’ve been trying to get back to God. To remember that my validation is in Him alone. Not in others.
I’m learning that I am a woman who likes to show love through baking. A woman who loves to decorate, and is pretty good at it. A woman with a heart for Africa and its cows and people and wildlife. I’m a woman who loves to laugh, is outgoing, and can be overwhelming to the introverts in her life. I’m a woman who loves to make others laugh, is afraid of spiders, loves to watch football (even if she doesn’t understand it all), and processes her day in an outward fashion. I’m a woman who tries to be a free spirit, but when it comes to test time, I just can’t help but get overly stressed and have mini-meltdowns. I’m a woman who loves fall and everything associated with it. I’m a woman who over analyzes, thinks about the future probably a little too much, and has a hard time trusting. I’m a woman who loves dramatic tv shows (such as Dawson’s Creek and Gossip Girl), sings in the car always, and has weird favorites (such as favorite pre-historic mammal). A woman who is excited to someday be a wife and mother. I’m learning that who I am is who I was made to be. Does that even make sense?
Taking one day at a time…learning.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Surviving the Sunburn.
15 July 2010
Well…my sore throat is gone finally. It’s been replaced with a runny nose and a constant foggy feeling, but that I can handle. I mean it could be worse. My bug bites are definitely healing and I have no new ones as far as I can tell. And the sunburn…well the sunburn has basically kept me in my room all yesterday. I mean, vacation is all about relaxing right? So that’s what I’ve been doing, “relaxing”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy to be here, and quite frankly the snorkeling was amazing so it’s gotta be worth it right? And if I’m going to have a really bad sunburn and a cold it’s better that I have the ability to sleep all day rather than have to go to work. It just kind of stinks that I’m missing the latter part of my vacation due to a really dumb oversight.
I’m really nervous about my long flights. As of right now I can’t really lay or lean back on my back so long flights could be really really uncomfortable. And we’re only going to be in London for little over a day and I don’t want to miss that because I am sick and can’t move. Oh and today I was supposed to get my complimentary massage…that’s so not going to happen now. So yeah, it’s a big bummer that I got sunburnt. But I’m really trying my best to keep my chin up and still enjoy my time in Kenya.
I can’t believe I leave Kenya tomorrow.
Well…my sore throat is gone finally. It’s been replaced with a runny nose and a constant foggy feeling, but that I can handle. I mean it could be worse. My bug bites are definitely healing and I have no new ones as far as I can tell. And the sunburn…well the sunburn has basically kept me in my room all yesterday. I mean, vacation is all about relaxing right? So that’s what I’ve been doing, “relaxing”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy to be here, and quite frankly the snorkeling was amazing so it’s gotta be worth it right? And if I’m going to have a really bad sunburn and a cold it’s better that I have the ability to sleep all day rather than have to go to work. It just kind of stinks that I’m missing the latter part of my vacation due to a really dumb oversight.
I’m really nervous about my long flights. As of right now I can’t really lay or lean back on my back so long flights could be really really uncomfortable. And we’re only going to be in London for little over a day and I don’t want to miss that because I am sick and can’t move. Oh and today I was supposed to get my complimentary massage…that’s so not going to happen now. So yeah, it’s a big bummer that I got sunburnt. But I’m really trying my best to keep my chin up and still enjoy my time in Kenya.
I can’t believe I leave Kenya tomorrow.
Snorkeling, Solicitation, and Sunburns.
13 July 2010
Today kind of marked the end of my vacation. This morning mom and I went out on the glass bottom boat and I had my first underwater safari. I saw starfish, sea anemone, sea cucumbers, sting ray, and so much beautiful coral. It was absolutely beautiful. Then we went over to the sand bar and walked around as our guide pointed things out like sea spiders and soft coarl. We saw a GIANT dead clam’s shell too. It was so big.
However, as we returned the usual men all over the beach trying to sell you anything from a boat ride to key rings harassed us. To be honest, Mombasa would be beautiful and perfect were it not for the men swarming the beach. So I got stopped by one of these men on my walk back up to the hotel and guess what he was selling? Himself. Yeah, that’s right, a male prostitute tried to sell himself to me. He wanted to “meet up later.” When I said no he said “Why not? You’re old enough.” Gross. It was so uncomfortable. What a vacation.
The rest of the day I spent peacefully by the pool with the breeze from the ocean rolling gently over me. I lathered myself up with sunscreen and read and slept and swam. Sipped a delicious pina colada and loved my life. Little did I know that my lack of sunscreen during snorkeling would ruin my day.
That’s right, it didn’t even occur to me that my back would be out of the water when I went snorkeling, therefore…I now have a killer sunburn on my back.Over 20 new bug bites on my legs. A sore throat/cold. A killer sunburn. This is the best vacation EVER!
Today kind of marked the end of my vacation. This morning mom and I went out on the glass bottom boat and I had my first underwater safari. I saw starfish, sea anemone, sea cucumbers, sting ray, and so much beautiful coral. It was absolutely beautiful. Then we went over to the sand bar and walked around as our guide pointed things out like sea spiders and soft coarl. We saw a GIANT dead clam’s shell too. It was so big.
However, as we returned the usual men all over the beach trying to sell you anything from a boat ride to key rings harassed us. To be honest, Mombasa would be beautiful and perfect were it not for the men swarming the beach. So I got stopped by one of these men on my walk back up to the hotel and guess what he was selling? Himself. Yeah, that’s right, a male prostitute tried to sell himself to me. He wanted to “meet up later.” When I said no he said “Why not? You’re old enough.” Gross. It was so uncomfortable. What a vacation.
The rest of the day I spent peacefully by the pool with the breeze from the ocean rolling gently over me. I lathered myself up with sunscreen and read and slept and swam. Sipped a delicious pina colada and loved my life. Little did I know that my lack of sunscreen during snorkeling would ruin my day.
That’s right, it didn’t even occur to me that my back would be out of the water when I went snorkeling, therefore…I now have a killer sunburn on my back.Over 20 new bug bites on my legs. A sore throat/cold. A killer sunburn. This is the best vacation EVER!
World Cup.
11 July 2010
Spain 1-0 Netherlands. Boo.
I couldn’t help but wish I was with the SFS staff watching the finals instead of all the strange European tourists I was surrounded by. Daniel got me into the World Cup, it would have been fun to watch the final with him. But again, watching it made me feel a little connection to the staff. Like I knew we were both watching the same game at the same time. Sentimental, I know, but it was nice to have that small connection. I think the World Cup did its job though; it brought people from all across the world together for one common interest. It bonded people and I can’t begin to count all the people I’ve met or grown close to by sitting down together watching soccer. So way to go FIFA. :)
Spain 1-0 Netherlands. Boo.
I couldn’t help but wish I was with the SFS staff watching the finals instead of all the strange European tourists I was surrounded by. Daniel got me into the World Cup, it would have been fun to watch the final with him. But again, watching it made me feel a little connection to the staff. Like I knew we were both watching the same game at the same time. Sentimental, I know, but it was nice to have that small connection. I think the World Cup did its job though; it brought people from all across the world together for one common interest. It bonded people and I can’t begin to count all the people I’ve met or grown close to by sitting down together watching soccer. So way to go FIFA. :)
Welcome to Tanzania...oops.
10 July 2010
This morning was absolutely perfect. We woke up at 5am and got ready to go on a sunrise hot air balloon ride.
None of us had ever been on a hot air balloon before and what better way to do your first hot air balloon ride than over the beautiful landscapes of Masai Mara, Kenya? J.P., our pilot, was amazing. Very skilled and quite funny as well. The balloon ride was so peaceful and beautiful. The impala didn’t like the balloon much, the topi didn’t much mind, and we even saw a lion in the road. We started to cross over into Tanzania and we were about to land-just over the border, when J.P. noticed how rocky the field was and he decided not to land there. Then we hit what ballooners call a “wall of air” that slowed us down considerably so we had to give it more gas again, as a result we ended up further into Tanzania. We finally landed and the wildebeest were EVERYWHERE. There’s something about Tanzanian land that is sweeter to the wildebeest. While we waited, hoping to not be arrested, I spotted a hyaena with a kill in its mouth. It’s things like that that really make the moments here cool. Like when we saw the large adult male lion feeding on wildebeest. It’s really just cool to watch all of this happen.
Rafiki
8 July 2010
I really miss the staff from NPS but it is getting better. Perhaps because I texted Moses and Nickson today, and talked to Daniel on the phone.
However, at Amboseli , I made quite a few friends. Kennedy and John in particular became buddies of mine, so to speak. Small world- Kennedy knows Daniel, Kiringe, Okello, and Shem! It made me so happy to meet him because I felt a little closer to the staff I miss and love. John is a pastor who asked me, when he found out that I was from the states, if I would help him track down an American study Bible he’s been hoping to get. We became fast friends and watched World Cup together. I think the World Cup is an amazing thing, because all of the staff members I got to know were because I was the one guest who wanted to watch the Netherlands vs. Uruguay game. So all of them got to know me as the girl who watches the football. Especially the hotel manager. He even went looking for me last night to take me to the conference room to watch the game.
We’ve been blessed with really good game drivers too. I talked to our new driver, Oromat, today in Maasai Mara. He’s originally from the Nairobi area so he was familiar with Kitengela :)
The view from our room is stellar and I love this park quite a lot already. Looking forward to the next few days. Oh, and I met the wife of our hot air balloon pilot. She was on the plane sitting in front of me on the way from Nairobi to here. We chatted quite a lot since she’s from BC Canada. I’m making connections all over the place, it’s so much fun :)
I really miss the staff from NPS but it is getting better. Perhaps because I texted Moses and Nickson today, and talked to Daniel on the phone.
However, at Amboseli , I made quite a few friends. Kennedy and John in particular became buddies of mine, so to speak. Small world- Kennedy knows Daniel, Kiringe, Okello, and Shem! It made me so happy to meet him because I felt a little closer to the staff I miss and love. John is a pastor who asked me, when he found out that I was from the states, if I would help him track down an American study Bible he’s been hoping to get. We became fast friends and watched World Cup together. I think the World Cup is an amazing thing, because all of the staff members I got to know were because I was the one guest who wanted to watch the Netherlands vs. Uruguay game. So all of them got to know me as the girl who watches the football. Especially the hotel manager. He even went looking for me last night to take me to the conference room to watch the game.
We’ve been blessed with really good game drivers too. I talked to our new driver, Oromat, today in Maasai Mara. He’s originally from the Nairobi area so he was familiar with Kitengela :)
The view from our room is stellar and I love this park quite a lot already. Looking forward to the next few days. Oh, and I met the wife of our hot air balloon pilot. She was on the plane sitting in front of me on the way from Nairobi to here. We chatted quite a lot since she’s from BC Canada. I’m making connections all over the place, it’s so much fun :)
Holy Elephants!
6 July 2010
Amboseli is amazing. It kicks NNP’s butt!
After lunch we had some down time in the room before our first game drive as a family, and down time is no good for a girl like me. I was bored, restless, and above all…sad. I started to ache for NPS, the staff, and my classmates. Especially Brenna. I was nervous about going on a game drive without Brenna or Jay by my side. I’ve literally never been on a game drive without one or both of them. I shared with my mom about the amazing people I lived with for the last month and how much they changed my life and how much I miss them. It is weird to be in Kenya without them. Without Jay, Brenna, Erica, any of the staff. It is hard to be a tourist too. I’m not used to being waited on, and I have a sort of guilt or something. I’m trying to relax and be a tourist.
Then we left for our game drive. We saw the usual, zebra, tommies, etc. But then we saw our first herd of wild elephants. I had yet to see wild elephants, and it was amazing. Then, we saw 8 lions! Then hyaenas! Then more elephants! More lions! Lion cubs! Flamingoes! Crown Crane EVERYWHERE! I will never see elephants and not think of Brenna, nor ibis. I will never see crown crane without thinking of Jay. I’m so glad to have them with me in that way while I experience this with my family. It is also a blessing to see how the knowledge I’ve gained from my month-long course is useful. I’m able to spot, observe, and identify animals for my parents. I was able to explain some of the conflicts with the wildlife and also told them about Maasai culture. We really did learn so much in the last 30 days. I’m so lucky. So so lucky. But I still need more practice being a tourist.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)